4 minutes till the Library closes for the day Time: 2046pm.
I am still in school for some werid reason. There is some sense of accomplishment however, I have done around 50% of the BNW's presentation due next term. Finished off the MLG TIME assignments Began the organization of thoughts for I and R.
I shall prepare for my Geography Lecture Test on my way home tonight.
There are still interview questions to be printed, proposal to be complied, and a GP file to sort out.
Life of a busy JC student.
Just noticed some random scribblings of a home made bookmark in my diary.
it comes and goes, pain tht we feel. till the point that we cease to feel.
no more
hardened against, the tauntings of society.
can't see no more, can't hear no more, can't whine no more, can't cry no more.
this is not the time i will break down. i am tougher than my troubles. i shall overcome, i shall conquer them all. fatigue and all GO AWAY! for i shall stand triumph over the bodies of my past enemies, as a survivor, a winner never will i be a loser again.
to all my teachers: sorry that i was unattentive, sorry that i was out of energy. i shall make a promise here to all. i will not fail the trust that you put in me, i will make it for my exams. i will continue and strive on!
happy early teacher's day =)
--ashhao
recorded on 8/29/2006 08:48:00 PM
2006/08/26
new blogskin =P
me likes the anime fate : stay night.
archers are cool (not to be mistaken for the long range bow users)
Archer's Unknown Legend His identity remains hidden even after he is defeated in the anime. All other servants are mythical or legendary entities from the past, but Archer is not. Many clues throughout the series point in one direction. Archer possesses the same necklace Tohsake Rin used to "revive" Emiya Shirou after he was struck by Lancer, in episode 2. In addition, they both use the exact same weapon, this is beyond pure coincidence. Furthermore, even Rin subtlely refers to this truth at more than one occasion.
Archer has many interesting *weak* points that seem to point to someone in mythologoly. Achillies.
Both start with A and has a fatal weakness with women ( Archer's master is a lady whom Archer is willing to die for )
GO WATCH FATE : STAY NIGHT!
archer's last spell invoked is the verse in my blogskin XD
werid thoughts evoked.
The Definition of Women
isn't it true, that since the beginnings of time, men have had this fatal flaw.
women. how many nations destroyed, lives given up, for this one being women.
almost like a god one might say, for is it not true that to the gods we offer, every inch of our physical possessions, even to the extent of life?
what are women, then? do we fall to them because they are more sensitive? do they see more them we do? or simply we just are like that?
women, the most mystical creature on earth, powers unmatched by none. are they gods in disguise?
--ashhao "for all it takes is one, to have you struck down for life"
recorded on 8/26/2006 11:43:00 PM
2006/08/24
39 days to Mid-Course Examinations.
This meancing message keeps flashing in my face in the canteen. The J2s are not having it any better. The days to their A Levels Examination are drawing closer and closer.
I am seriously worried. I wonder if I can pass my Mid-Course comfortablely. My Chemistry is in a giant mess. Big time. I wonder if I put it all I have got will I make it for my Chemistry Paper. Then there is the literature paper that Chitra keeps droning on and on about, how difficult it is and how if we are unprepared, our asses would be handed back to her. Come to think of it, I still owe her some assignments, a design for a T-Shirt, and a Drama-related photograph compliation. Yay. Oh, Did I tell you I am trying for a H3 paper? Economics isn't looking too bright, I need to clarify somethings with my tutor I suppose. I need to find out what I am missing to get my pass grade.
Oh yea, PW is coming up to bit my ass really good. Ouch.
I need someone to tell me I can do well for my Mid-Course, that I will not flunk out, that I shall survive this ordeal.
I joined the Council and Innova this year, making a promise to myself, that I will take all challenges that are thrown my way. I have done that, but can I ultimately conquer the greatest challenge of all, my Mid-Course?
I am seriously considering staying back to mug till around 9pm everyday in the school library.
Mugging again, like the O level days....
"be a man, do the right thing" -- Damien. "ma-chump"-- Wilson "we are all leaders of our hearts"-- Shaowen "foolish is the one that submits to fate, smart is the one that changes fate, and brave is the one that tries to turn fate." --ashhao
let me be brave, let me be a leader, and let me be a man and run on....
--ashhao
recorded on 8/24/2006 07:57:00 PM
2006/08/19
Unloved
there's no one in this world, that wants to be alone. left in the dark, nothing to see infront.
there's no one in this world, that would like to be compared. treated invisble, everyone just looks through you.
unloved, that's what i am... unloved. that's the reality...
living in this world, with every conversation planned ahead of time. people just repeating the things that are recorded.
a world, cold. bleak, dark, dreary. too dark to see, too loud to hear... too cold to feel..
unloved....
--ashhao
recorded on 8/19/2006 08:37:00 PM
2006/08/15
Good Game
this game, so posionous and deadly. claimed the lives of many innocents. caused grief in the families of the deceased.
this game, so very malicious and dangerous. it is alive, yet it is dead. it can smite you, and haunts you day and night.
this game, so extreme and demanding. mountains pale in comparison from the power of this game. its might extends beyond the sun.
this game we play: Dead or Alive 15 : School Years.
GG
-ashhao
recorded on 8/15/2006 09:41:00 PM
2006/08/12
i apologize if i had scared anyone last night.
when one is tired, they tend to lose their inhibitions, and do things that is out of their own nature to do so... sorry =)
now that i had some REAL sleep, i can think clearly again.
the person playing the piano didn't play today... was slightly disappointed, but oh well. we all have different lives and such. heh.
seen lots of different things over this entire week, being a holiday week, it was one of the rare chances that we only need to go to school for 2 days. the school should had shifted our polling day holiday to yesterday. then we'll have one whole week off.
cant remember which day it was, think it was thursday. i came back from victoria thearte hall, sad and all. the people doing the drama for the school was... dissapointing. the true esscene of drama had been tarnished by their hapazard doing. i just dun like it. seriously, their way of shouting at us. c'mon if you don't trust what we are doing, then bloody hell dun ask us to do it in the first place. in the end end up with so much unhappiness in everyone.
plus that is back *helping* us. his way of doing things seriously pisses everyone off.
i spend a good lot of 2 years in victoria thearte. it has a feeling i can't put my finger onto. its a part of me. i know it inside out, every step, every chair, every dressing room. walking past them brings up the echoes of the past. shouting, laughter. now all i see there with the drama's performance, is ugliness. pure and simple.
i think i'm biased against the man behind the helm.
what if everything you had known your entire life, changed overnight? would you cry? would you move on with life? or would you stay and refuse to move?
what is there to go back to, when all you have known had turned into naught. the reverse is the reality,
reality is shelved, and put away in some dark corner.
"for every action taken away, the journey is lengthen"
--ashhao
recorded on 8/12/2006 08:18:00 AM
2006/08/09
was thinking about somethnig rather interesting. imagine that one day for literature we get the national day songs to do for our pc.
i do not really want to know what i will write.
something like.. a is filled with brainwashing properties, trying to condition the citizens of the said nation to conform to their rules and regulation... we can see this apparent in line .... and this can be said to be somewhat similar to that of Atwood's Handmaid Tale. In Gilead....
lol.
we are always repeating the same songs over and over again.
xiao ren wu de xing shen why must we always be small. can't we large and do something for once? belittling ourselves. and perhaps even the people?
we have our own individual powers, beliefs. things we want to uphold. small we maybe, but when united, a force to reckon.
a very happy birthday to the nation.
the beliefs we trusted, the things we wanted. brought us to this stage in our nation-building stage.
we have shown the world what we are capable of. the things we have achieved. none of them any mean feat by chance.
continue we must, perserve we will. the journey is but, just started.
forward. forward. FORWARD!
"one man's destiny is not determinded by birth, but by the actions he undertakes"
--ashhao
recorded on 8/09/2006 07:07:00 PM
2006/08/06
woke up this mornnig, finding out that my internet has stopped being a whiny little kid and decided to co-operate with me again...
guess even machines need a off-day...
i hear the faint notes of a piano played somewhere downstairs. the person who is playing it has gotten better. it wasn't this nice 8 months ago. people do change and improve. i think its a nice way to wake up in the mornin', where you look at the baby blue skies, and here the slightest notes of the piano. it makes one feels great, refreshed, something that i envision when an old man retires, and wakes up to this kinda of a morning.
its almost like a flower, in a bed of nettles.
the world around us is kinda ugly. take that bad, it IS ugly.
everyday you open the newspapers, and there will definately be news that will pull at your heartstrings. murder, rape, war. wounds, both physical and mental are done to people by people of the same level. these are all crimes of atrocities. then, come the days with even worse news. a kid getting murdered, some poor soul dismembered.
if we are so civilized, why is there still this kind of things happening? war crimes commited by the americans, the ignition point of what we now call 'Westernization'.
in a way this IS a dystopic society we are living in. not in a very physical way (supression of the people), but more of a mental one. we look at the news, with all the acts of violence, day in day out. adults and kids alike. we slowly get conditioned. we learn to accept violence as a daily part of our lives, a cycle we go through. its almost like the brave new world's death conditioning the kids go through. it is all normal, and now jack, go back to your dinner. if violence is normal, would that make peace abnormal?
i learn about this socialological effect in GP. if an event is witnessed by a bunch of people, the personal responsibility that one feels is much lesser. they do not think that they should do anything at all. but is this right? shouldn't we be helping on another? even animals, in their social circles, they do that. whoever that is in trouble, or when they sense danger, they alert and warn each other to run. but what do we do? its like what they said in Hotel Rwana. The people will said, oh my god, and go back to eat.
have we all become sedated? can't we feel?
when i try to feel, i am labelled werid. why? why?
--ashhao
recorded on 8/06/2006 07:26:00 AM
2006/08/03
blogging has become one of mine many ways to release steam, and its one of the less-violent methods. i assure you do not want to know what are the other methods
talking about how *sad* my life is, in a way, my own little way of trying to piece my reality together. i am afraid to do the conncetion, in fear of exploding emotionally.
emotions. we all are human right? in our veins flow the same blood, red. warm.
we maybe different with regards to how we look, but inside we are all the same.
why do we now supress our own emotions? is it wrong to feel emotionally over anything? can't we react to things as nature decreed us? or has the society indoctrinated in us, the freedom from feeling?
no matter how society changes, we are still we. our individuality stays.
none of us are robots, one must learn to accept that.
i may differ from some of you in basic thinking. but i am still the same inside.
i just wish to have fun.
--ashhao
P.S. I would really appreciate the taggers to use a name that i can make links with. It is always better to know who I am talking to.
padma.. are you mrs. naidu?
recorded on 8/03/2006 07:37:00 PM
2006/08/02
100th post....
I have a vague idea who you might be... Are you from the council?
i think what i really need is a punching bag. one that can be hung in my room. everytime i am feeling pissed i can just go beat at it until i get everything out of my system. that would make my next day a lot better i suppose. come in as a fresh being.
i think i am suffering from bipolar disorder, with my moods alternating between mania and depression. but heck, some of the greatest people of the world suffer from it too.. dickens, newton, and even beethoven.
no wonder they say that there is only a thin line between madness and geniuses.
my digestive system is malfunctioning like usual, resulting in some pretty nasty results. sorri to the unfortunate souls that i smogged earlier today, my humble apologizes.
everyone shits-- quoted from Moria from HMT. I do believe that everyone does the other alternative too, I'm just having a bad day.
Maybe its the coffee...
my clock has stopped working properly. it is stuck at 3.45....
tick tick tick. a stuck needle tries to move. it struggles, quivers.
but it isn't moving.
till the time that the battery is replaced. the faulty components repaired. it will continue moving.
but it has to wait, patiently untill there is time for the owner to replace.
---- i wish i could have more sleep ----
==ashhao
recorded on 8/02/2006 07:37:00 PM
2006/08/01
who am i kidding? that i will fit in someday, a magnificent joke.
beautifully woven.
i am there only because of convinence.
i deliever, they stay. i fail, they go.
a simple transcation. nothing more nothing less.
someone asked me, how much worries can you have. i replied. more than you can ever begin to fanthom.
i worry for the next day, i am scared of the dawn. there is no hope, no future in that dawn. however golden it is. they say as good as gold gets, but it also breeds evil.
--ashhao
3rd bottle of coffee
recorded on 8/01/2006 10:34:00 PM
warrior
Wan Zhong Hao aka ashhao
Current affilated to: IJC 0641B (Council)
Was: ATS '01/CHS '05
abilites
literature & drama
geo.
blades
knowledge
peace
love
armor
blue & black
cry
If there was any ability,
that could bring you back to me
I would gladly give up all my powers
for that one moment with you again.
values
Honor
Honesty
Intergrity
Chivarly
unlimited blade works
one of the most powerful form of magic,
caster creates a world entirely out of his imagination,
and has endless power over this realm he creates. also
labelled as sword's graveyard, for the amazing amount of blades
stored here.
