There is no secret ingredient. It all lies within you.
Somehow, this was perhaps the statement I had been waiting for to tell me how to carry on.
Now that the way and objectives are clear, it's finally time to soar.
recorded on 6/29/2008 08:25:00 PM
2008/06/22
Shawn made me do this.
1. What is the most scandalous thing you've done? Let's see.. Entering the girl's bathroom to check on someone who's fainted?
2. Who is/are the person/s you trust the most? Shawn, Edmund, Wang Jian and Vincent. Shawn functions on the same frequency/wavelength and its easy to communicate ideas with. Edmund's a great buddy for asking about issues related to the opposite gender. Wang Jian is the games/gundam expert and Vincent is the buddy you need when you need general advice about day-to-day matters.
3. Do you think you have enough confidence? Somewhat.
4. Who is(are) the person(s) that you confide in? Shawn, Edmund, Vincent.
5. Are you satisfied with yourself? No. I always seem to hurt the people I want to care for the most.
6. What are you afraid to lose the most? My honor. I know its an ancient notion, but I value that above all. If I cannot preserve my own set of values/thinking, nothing else is worth it.
7. Do you believe in eternal love? If this includes unrequited love, yes.
8. Have you broken someone's heart that he/she tried to commit suicide? Not sure. Unlikely in any case. I'm not worth dying for. =)
9. What do you like about yourself? Idealist/Thinker. Foolhardiness. Luck. Optimist/Pessimist. Not knowing when to quit.
10. What are the requirements that you wish from the other half? As long as she understands me and cares about me, that'll be enough =)
11. Do you cherish every friendship of yours? I go out of my way to please everyone. That's what most people say. What do you think?
12. Do you treasure your family? Above all. (Same importance as honor)
13. What do you dislike the most? Dishonorable people. Right..
14. Who do you hope to be always there for you? My friends and my family.
15. What do you regret most in life? Being ill-disciplined.
16. What kind of friend do you hope to be in your friend's eye? Loyal and trustworthy.
17. Do you love your friends? Refer to Qn. 11 answer and infer.
18. Which date do you like the most? 9/11. The day in which the illusion that the Western countries are untouchable were shattered. Also, proving how fragile the human life is, and how people can bond together in times of crisis.
19. How predictable are you? I'm often referred to as insane. Does that help?
20. If you could travel in time and return to a phase of your life, which phase would it be and why? None. I would not be what I am today without my past.
21. If there's one thing you'd do now, what would it be? Live.
People who shall do this, for some reason or another: (people who actually check my blog la!) 1. Katrina 2. Edmund 3. I'm not sure if I have any other readers 4. Vera
recorded on 6/22/2008 09:33:00 PM
2008/06/17
Because I'm really bored.
1.What would you be doing at 11pm? Depends on where I am. If I'm in camp, sleep would be mandatory. Days when I'm out(like these), would be spent either on MSN or playing DotA/Maplestory.
2.If you could wish for 10 things, what would they be, and which would be the most important of all? 1. World peace 2. Health and happiness to my family and friends, whether or not it coincides with those of mine. 3. My friendships with my closer friends to strengthen and grow. :D 4. To be able to understand more clearly how people think! 5. To realize the limits (and stop in time before I hurt anyone) to everything that I do 6. To lead a good life without regrets. 7. Eventually tidy up my room. 8. For the world to wake up about environmental issues and DO SOMETHING about it. 9. To learn another ability aside from photography. 10. To learn to be more sociable and open, and to be able to make friends more easily.
Just like Shawn, world peace. The world's more than just me or the people I know. :)
P.S. I decided not to change certain/most of the factors since our thinking functions largely on the same train of thought.
3.What would your dream wedding be like? One that I would solemnly devote myself to my partner for the rest of my life in a ceremony that would leave people in awe. =x
4.What would you do with a billion dollars? Invest 30% of that sum into renewable energy sources, and hopefully saving the world before its too late. Another 30% for Africa to grow and prosper (with all the proper anti-corruption safeguards in place). The remaining 40%? Probably save/give some to my parents.
5.What's your ideal lover like? Down-to-earth, Kind, Understanding.
6.Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone? As long as its a positive kind of love, both are just as good.
7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love? Forever? =x
8.If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do? Continue waiting until there is absolutely no more chance.
9.Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days? I've lost count?
10.What cheers you up the fastest? My diary/emo-notebook. It suffers in silence when I pour out all the nonsense into it. After the explosion of feelings, I'll get better. Alot =)
11. Where do you see yourself in ten years time? Everywhere? I want to see the world. Capture its beauty.
12.Who is currently the most important person to you? My family (I know its more than 1 person)
13.What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is? Rational, intelligent, patient, smart, kind, often misunderstood.
14.Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor? They say Love can't be eaten, but I believe that as long as its a blissful marriage, no matter how bad things are, it would be a much better choice than to be single.
15.What's the first thing you do every morning? Stumble into the bathroom mumbling incoherent stuff.
16.Would you give it all in a relationship? Usually. I'm afraid of losing things.
17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick? There can only be one. THE one.
18.What type of friends do you like? If you're my friend, you're my friend. Unless the question is referring to fiends, in which I wouldn't associate with anyway.
TAG: Anyone else who has spare time
recorded on 6/17/2008 11:49:00 AM
2008/06/16
Today, as I stood at the glass wall watching people I knew and care about fly towards a foreign land, it somehow gave me insight to what kind of responsibilities a guardian/parent would have for their charges/kids.
Don't get me wrong here, I'm definitely not qualified to be any of their guardians, but the lurch in the gut, which comes shortly before the tears would have start to flow, was a new feeling, an emotion that I can't really define with the boundaries of words. It's probably the same mix of worry that my parents often talk about when either me or my sister comes home in the wee hours of the morning. (It doesn't happen that often ; but it has happened before so .. ) Subconsciously, I've made this group of people something I would look forward to in the long hours in camp, and they've taken up a very important space in the heart.
Then again, all I can do is to hope and pray that they'll be safe over there and enjoy themselves as much as possible.
So, to Yong Sheng, Connie, Sze Ming, Abigail, Katrina and Joel. Have a safe trip.Please.
Its halfway across my block leave period since PoP, and it struck me to a large extent that I'm actually missing the Army. Being in camp insulates you from the multitude of worries in the outside world. The rules are simple, tiring at times, but ultimately, they are easy goals to achieve. They only require physical toughness and mental readiness for the goals to be achieved. As a civilian, there are so much for things to think about, to contemplate.
Maybe what part of growing up would be learning to insulate oneself from certain emotions, certain distractions, to prioritize and thus, shutting down out the capacity to feel. Somehow or another, everything these days seem to revolve around ideals that contradict others, but ironically, these ideals would cease to exist without the other. You can't be human without feeling, but being human would also require you to exercise self-control.
Think.
recorded on 6/16/2008 03:40:00 PM
2008/06/15
The things that I keep on my desk:
:Remote controls for the following items -Air conditioner -Mini-Compo
:Handset for House Phone
:Chargers for -Camera Batteries -Flash Batteries -Phone -Creative Stone -PSP Charger -House phone handset charger
:Broken 50mm f/1.8 Lens
:Out of Battery Alarm Clock
: X no. of rubbish/trash/paper
Out of all these stuff, I like the broken items the most. Why? Cause both represents lessons that I should always learn, and whenever these lessons come along, I would associate them with these 2 items.
The broken lens signifies a broken love.
Photography has evolved from being a hobby to a passion, and that faithful lens, my 1st EVER non-kit lens was accidentally destroyed by me when I dropped it on a trip in M'sia. Everything, in its entity is precious. One small accident could and would take everything away. I'm still guilty of being unable to preserve what I've come to treasure and love, and in my own idiotic ways, harming the people and things I care for with my stupid actions. Like my bunkmate used to say, Silence is worth more than knowledge because people just don't know when to shut up. Heh.
The stopped clock signifies the precious entity of time.
No one can buy time. It justs moves forward with the changing of seasons, irregardless of what is happening around us. The clock stopped at a pretty weird time, 1126hrs/2326hrs. In some essence, it reminds me of memories. Only memories are like that stopped clock. Memories are trapped within the time frame of our minds, subjected to us replaying it when we want to draw them out. The more you look at them, the more pain you experience when you think of the time that has past you by. Seasons change, and things get forgotten. You'd wish that you could turn back time.
Heh.
I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused.
recorded on 6/15/2008 02:24:00 PM
2008/06/07
Solemn -ashhao
Their dinners left on the table. Untouched. The box in the corner trying its very best, To liven up the empty living room. Faded photos in ancient frames adorn the walls, Mourning of happier times gone.
The paint is peeling- an indicative sign Of a promise left undone. They turn away to forget all these powerful reminders. Facing the vacant doorway, Staring into the horizon, Waiting for a sign.
The old clock bangs out nine groans. In the most profound silence, They close the doors, Tune up the miserable box, And attempt to drown their sorrows In between mouthfuls of cold, hard rice.
its time to go back home.
recorded on 6/07/2008 11:57:00 PM
warrior
Wan Zhong Hao aka ashhao
Current affilated to: IJC 0641B (Council)
Was: ATS '01/CHS '05
abilites
literature & drama
geo.
blades
knowledge
peace
love
armor
blue & black
cry
If there was any ability,
that could bring you back to me
I would gladly give up all my powers
for that one moment with you again.
values
Honor
Honesty
Intergrity
Chivarly
unlimited blade works
one of the most powerful form of magic,
caster creates a world entirely out of his imagination,
and has endless power over this realm he creates. also
labelled as sword's graveyard, for the amazing amount of blades
stored here.
