Feeling very messed up now. Or maybe I should say emotional. I think partly it has to do with me finishing Sophie's World on my long 3 day trip into Malaysia. The long travelling time with nothing to do were pretty much absorbed by the book, and upon reaching its startling conclusion, I could not help but wonder if we too are like how Hilde's father so aptly put, "Are merely stardust." I can't help but question myself about my existance. Do I really exist? Or am I just another character in someone's storybook to their daughter. If that being the case, I really must say that this author of mine isn't very interesting up to this point in time. Perhaps he is also as confused as myself now after he read about Sophie's World.
Come to think of it, I kinda wish that I was like Sophie, who escaped from the mere contents of her book into the realm of eternality. One who has chosen the lot of life, has also chosen the lot of death. If I could stay forever in this world, as a spirit, I wouldn't mind. The knowledge that I carry with me in that book would have to be valuable enough for it to be preserved through eternity. That'll be the hard part. Heh.
Just found my graduation video in the pocket of my blazer. Seems that I have cleanly forgotten that I left the CD in the pocket since 2 years ago. Replaying the contents of the CD, and remembering how my school looked like when I returned for CNY, it brings back memories. Truckloads of them, the good, the bad, everything coming, overwhelming me like a tsunami. It sorts of gives me the motivation to continue. I must return to my primary school to visit my teachers before this New Year ends. I must.
recorded on 2/19/2007 11:50:00 PM
2007/02/09
Too many ifs, Too many whys.
I lack the guts to say it out. I can't talk, I can't even begin. It maybe just my thoughts running wild. But how do I express that out?
Too many ifs, Too many whys.
The last dance is set. And I'm not your partner. What can I do, O what can I do? But to hide myself in the darkest corner?
Too many ifs, Too many whys.
This Valentine's Day, I shall still be; Alone.
-ashhao
recorded on 2/09/2007 09:22:00 PM
2007/02/06
Insanity is nothing to be feared. It is a refuge for the lost, A home for the outcasted, And a friend for the lonely.
Insanity's only bestowed to the thinkers. For they consider, think too much, and become werid; In the eyes of wretched mortals.
No one can phantom how the world looks like to the insane. Yet I strive to reach that stage. For no one would bother me no more. I will be set free to do as I please, Pusuit my passions freely without restrains.
I long to be free. Come insanity, Set me FREE!
--ashhao
recorded on 2/06/2007 09:33:00 PM
warrior
Wan Zhong Hao aka ashhao
Current affilated to: IJC 0641B (Council)
Was: ATS '01/CHS '05
abilites
literature & drama
geo.
blades
knowledge
peace
love
armor
blue & black
cry
If there was any ability,
that could bring you back to me
I would gladly give up all my powers
for that one moment with you again.
values
Honor
Honesty
Intergrity
Chivarly
unlimited blade works
one of the most powerful form of magic,
caster creates a world entirely out of his imagination,
and has endless power over this realm he creates. also
labelled as sword's graveyard, for the amazing amount of blades
stored here.
