Progression, A force that we can't stop, Much less change.
Like the formation of clouds, It changes, evolves and eventually; Despite of the nature of the movement, Favoured or hated, it Expires.
After all the brilliant dreams great men once dreamt, We are left with naught but a blank slate. For dreams, for ideas to be formed once again. Knowing, that these are the fundamental forces, To drive the survival of our race.
Ideals, impractical while in the air. Can be eventually made into foundations of our civilisation. -muses
recorded on 5/25/2008 06:32:00 PM
This post is partly inspired by Tolstoy's writing style in War and Peace.
I seem to love the notion of starting my various blog posts with a self-pitying statement asking if anyone reads this blog. I always seem to bear the notion that an audience needs to be present before one can be inspired to write anything of deep profoundity. Its only recently that one realizes that the "thing" one seeks before writing is much less of audience, but that of pain and turmoil.
It is only with this 2 elements that really motivates myself to write in abstract terms, that I throw myself into a world which my emotions can be fully re-lived, after which I think I would be able to move on with life. My hands move like a pianist, pressing on the different various keys, in an effort to craft the feeling into words, in an effort to imitate the works of great authors. Lately, the void in this virtual diary is due to a lack of the emotions mentioned above, although I could easily attribute it to the lack of time in NS, which would void the first statement, as the explosion of emotions in NS could easily overwhelm a weak mind.
NS is national service. An event that all men of Singapore are bound by laws to follow and obey. Shipped off to a strange and foreign environment for 2 years to learn the art of warfare and to change from boys to men. Perhaps its the time they give you inside, the long hours of doing absolutely nothing and when the people around you talk of things that you find it difficult to comprehend and you sit down, and do some serious thinking about the differences that exist within you and others. Perhaps its the sublime realization while everyone is on the floor that we are all the same after all. Perhaps its when everyone is going through a hard patch, there will always be your brothers around you, cheering you to not give up.
A strange void exists inside my heart. You know there are things that you can't tell your family in fears of burdening them. You know there are things that you can't tell your buddy cause he would think your nuts (not that it matters for me in any case, cause i'm already insane). You want to have a emotional support outside all these realms, but when you consider the responsibilities, time and everything, it gets scary. You wish you could be free. But you know you can't....
recorded on 5/25/2008 07:04:00 AM
2008/05/04
I've discovered that its getting harder and harder to blog anymore. Not that as NSmen, what we blog are highly monitored for secrecy issues.
Its more like we're losing so much of ourselves, that we can't bear to face our own writing anymore. At least, that is what I'm feeling about blogging.
Blogging is a event that allows you to have your say about things in your life, a place to allow reflection and intelligent thoughts to flow in a coherent manner, or one that you just rant about the misadventures of your day in life.
In NS, as my bunkmate Job likes to put it : " Silence is valued more highly than intelligence as most people do not know when to shut up." We hold our silence, our anger, our emotions back to tide us over the initial burst of emotions. Is it possible to overdo this, so much so that one becomes uncaring, unappreciative?
I do not know.
There should have been a wide range of topics for me to blog on. Field camp being just over, the 6 days of outfield experience, learning about the stars, fire movements ought to have combined into a flow of words that would have filled this page.
But then again, there is always the outside world to look forward too :)
A silver lining in behind every dark cloud, For after the storm, there always will be a calm.
recorded on 5/04/2008 02:52:00 PM
warrior
Wan Zhong Hao aka ashhao
Current affilated to: IJC 0641B (Council)
Was: ATS '01/CHS '05
abilites
literature & drama
geo.
blades
knowledge
peace
love
armor
blue & black
cry
If there was any ability,
that could bring you back to me
I would gladly give up all my powers
for that one moment with you again.
values
Honor
Honesty
Intergrity
Chivarly
unlimited blade works
one of the most powerful form of magic,
caster creates a world entirely out of his imagination,
and has endless power over this realm he creates. also
labelled as sword's graveyard, for the amazing amount of blades
stored here.
